I’m okay with never having it all

What does “having it all” mean to you? Is it attainable?

I’m too autistic to be socially acceptable, have too much ADHD to be focused and attentive, too fat to fit into anyone’s physical standards, and too boring to be of much interest to others.

But it won’t deter me from fighting for myself or others, I’m just great with the idea that I’ll never have it all or that I’ll never be what everyone needs me to be. My goal will never be to be accepted, partially because I’ve never been truly accepted.

My goals simply do not align with the idea that I must “have it all” because to have it all, including most forms of privilege, wealth, health, and so many other things that I don’t have is unimaginable to me. I wouldn’t even know what it was if it slapped me in the face.

But I’m also content with never having it all when I have the knowledge that there’s beauty in what we face in life. Our challenges are part of what form our character. Our beauty is in how we handle these challenges.

As much as those around me would like for me to conform a bit more with what’s socially acceptable, professionally acceptable, and morally acceptable, I find that the closest to having it all that I can feel is literally just existing as myself and being that person to accept myself for who I am, unequivocally, and unrestricted.

This may make me selfish, but having it all wouldn’t matter at all if it didn’t leave me with the joy that I only get from being myself.