Fear of the unknown debilitates me

What fears have you overcome and how?

Anxiety is another word for the ways in which I interact with this fear. Anxiety can often take such a hold on my life that I begin to act, even in my own ways and sometimes in ways that aren’t productive.

For instance, I have had several terrible interactions when I have come to the office as of late, so I was filled with anxiety walking into the building. When I entered, everyone was staring at me, then scoffed at me.

This made me angry.

But what could I do that would make the message clear?

Would I shout at them and make a scene?

Would I just carry on like nothing happened?

Nope.

I stomped my way up the escalator and into the bathroom to calm down. I knew that I was in a heightened state of anxiety and that I had just experienced behavior that invalidated me. I had a right to be livid.

Could I have handled that in other ways? Absolutely. Do I regret what I did?

Nope.

I made it known that the way that those people treated me was incorrect.

I do not care, honestly, if others believe that this was an act of toxic masculinity because I am just not taking such allegations seriously on pride month of all times.

I also don’t care that it’s seen as uncivilized, because acknowledging my existence like how the staff (my colleagues) used to would have been far more civil.

I wear a mask and another mask on top of it to state that I’m immunocompromised.

If they don’t like it and want to ostracize me for existing, fine.

But you will face consequences and disturbance because I refuse to be treated like anything less than a fucking human being. Because, when your worst case scenarios happen on a regular basis, you have enough at some point.

I may still have my anxiety, but I refuse to stay silent about it, about the things that I face, and I refuse to entertain the notion that I’m not deserving of empathy just because I’m different.

So, in a way, I recently faced my fear of being ostracized, because I have had enough.