Spending time by myself, and learning to love it

Who do you spend the most time with?

I’m an introvert who loves my time alone, so I spend the most time with myself.

Still, most people admit that time by themselves could be scary, which is exactly why the pandemic was such a traumatic experience for many people across the globe.

Nonetheless, I enjoy spending time with myself, and by myself.

On one hand, I’m the most productive reflective, and intuitive when I’m with myself.

But, on the other hand, time alone also means that I tend to overthink.

I often wish that I could be more social and less socially awkward.

I sometimes want to be more like the rest, rather than be myself.

But, ultimately, conforming to the wishes, goals, and dreams of others leaves me unhappy and unfulfilled.

Life should be about exploration, openness, and new experiences,

But, for me, I have no clue as to how I could do this with my constant insecurity, anxiety, and lack of coping skills.

Thus, I explore, gain new experiences, and aspire using other media, such as digital media and the online space.

I learn online, I hope to be able to work online, and I hope to be able to lead through online means.

Being online has led to my opening up to those beyond myself and allows me to express myself more openly than I can in-person.

While I would love the mental health benefits,

The social benefits,

The professional connections,

And the many opportunities that come from working with others and communicating with others in-person,

I understand my limits, needs, and hopes and dreams.

I can best fulfill them in situations where I can be comfortable,

And I have already done several things in the past few years,

Such as working, attending school for my Master’s, and performing research (on my own volition) online

With only myself in the room.

Though it would likely be different if I had been born at a different time,

In this time period, with my conditions and my needs, the internet makes it possible for me to have myself as the person that I spend the most time with,

And still be comfortable with my own existence.